Daddy went a'campin

So this last weekend my husband had a men's retreat for church. It was a difficult time for us here. We had two children who were borderline sick, a mommy who had little sleep, and a messy home. I wanted so badly to clean the house, to do something of some productiveness. And one of the days I truly did. I scrubbed the floors on my hands and knees, I cleaned off all the counters, I did a ton of laundry- the never ending task in our home- and vacuumed and deodorized every room as well as scrubbed the carpets.

The kids were crying for daddy the whole time, they were more crazed than ever and their countenances were desperate. They missed their daddy. I missed their daddy. IT was hard to let him go. Had it been a weekend of fun and debauchery, I would have had a hard time struggling through the weekend. However, since it was for his good as well as the good of the family, I was willing to forebear through the weekend and allow him the chance to bond with other men.

I was right in doing so, when he came back he seemed lightened, uplifted and encouraged. I noticed in him a new found strength in his role as leader of the family. The opportunity for him to go for this weekend of spiritual growth has not only blessed him but every member of our family.

As his wife, I need to make sure that my husband is encouraged in his spiritual walk and continues to grow. This is essential to him in his position. He carries a lot on his shoulders in his role, and needs to be fed constantly in order to not be overwhelmed or feel inadequate. He needs the joy of the Lord to encourage him and strengthen him. I know, well, that he would do the same in encouraging me to go to a spiritual retreat in order that I might be renewed in both spirit and mind. I, however, am selfish and it was a struggle to the core to permit him this weekend. I am so blessed by his growth, however, and have now grown fonder still of him, after the time away and his new strength. I am, though, very excited for the opportunity to do the same.

Grumpy Faces

I am not sure if it is that she is the middle child, if it is simply her personality, or her age, but Arydona had had the countenance of a grinch as of late. All I ever see is a frown, and is she perfecting that look!!! When most children smile as the norm she whines and frowns.

The child will frown for any reason what so ever. Let's try to use the potty- frown, let's get dressed- frown, let's go play- frown, no cookies for breakfast- frown, please don't hit your brother- frown, Frown frown frown!!! Today I was trying so hard to get her to smile, I decided to try a trick my dad always used. This entails pretending that she is already smiling. I told her "you better not smile, no no smiling. Uh, oh!! I see a smile! I said no smile" Still no smile.

She would start to smile and then quickly frown again. It wasn't until she saw a duck on the back of a bulletin truck that a smile FINALLY crept across her little face. If she only knew how beautiful she only knew how beautiful she looked smiling!!!

Oh but how different her personality is to her brother and sister. The two of them live life smiling. well the latter perhaps a mixture of the two. She is hot and cold, super loving then super upset. I say upset as it is never truly clear if she is sad, mad, or frustrated or anywhere in between. Then her brother is the most easy going child I have ever seen. He barely cries unless he is in pain or hungry. He yells, but not in a sad way. He will yell with a smile on his face.

It is so funny watching them each with their own little personalities. Each having different needs. One it takes a look and their behavior is corrected- apologizing profusely, another redirection is a miracle worker, the other needs to tenderly be guided but with an incredibly firm hand. They are so unique! It is fascinating how they each captivate in a different way. I just hope we out grow the frown stage!!!

A heart of longing

I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and many more, but most important I am redeemed through Christ. I am a child of the Most Holy God who has reached out and pulled me up from the muck that I once dwelt.

That is incredibly important if you are to know my heart, that you know that I am not perfect- not even close!!! But I am forgiven. I live my life by this. I find that in raising my children this is my number one motivator!

The biggest joy is when I see my children praise God or offer their prayers. Arydona loves to sing along with the radio to the christian radio station. When my children offer their prayers or ask to pray, it reinforces that I am doing something right!

I know that one day I will be held accountable for my choices with my children. That is the biggest reason that I stay home with them. I need to know that I have laid a solid foundation and poured the word of God into them. I want to see them long for God in the same way that I do. My greatest joy as a parent was the day Bella accepted Christ. That day I knew that I was doing something right.

Through the years of raising my children, God has definitely been a source of strength. Each day I find, I need him more and more. That may sound cliche, but with a house full of children as any stay at home mom knows, is nothing if not challenging. I struggle day to day with managing a household, getting three kids up and dressed and breakfast. Anyone who has seen my harried home knows that keeping up with the housework is not necessarily my number one priority, especially when there are sisters fighting, a baby crying and another poopy diaper to change. Without God, heck with him at times, I would be found in a heap on the floor- or worse.

The joys of children are wonderful, but they have definitely tried my patience from time to time. Patience has never been my forte, which is why God has given me three headstrong children. My life has become a lesson in humility, in patience, in forbearance, and dependence on Christ. It is the times when I think I alone can manage my family, my children, their intricacies that I fall flat on my face. Triumphant is the day that no one is screaming or that Mommy made it through without a meltdown herself!! Those are the days when I am dwelling in the hands of God, when I am allowing him to live through me. Every other day it is my own inequities that reign, unfortunately.

But through my own spiritual struggles, failures even, is an example to my children. They will see that living a life in Christ doesn't mean that you are perfect, though everyday we strive towards that. It doesn't mean that you don't yell or cry or even say a mean thing here or there. But that in humility we apologize. Living in Christ means that we don't accept our weaknesses as a part of us, but give them to God daily so he can lift us up. That we strive to do better daily. When I mess up I make sure that my children are aware of my sin, that Mommy is sorry that she yelled and no she shouldn't have said no more cookies ever. That Mommy asked God to forgive her and seeks out forgiveness of my children as well. They see my humanity and my strive towards eternity. Hopefully this teaches them and doesn't intimidate or deter them. But when they see me on my knees daily, this is an example that will stay with them, I hope, forever.

The daddy

I am married to the best man in the world- in my opinion- and our kids think so too. I feel incredibly lucky that my husband is the man who he is. I realize this the most when I watch him with our children.

Tonight I was sitting here in our playroom and the children were huddled on the floor around him. They would jump on him, tickle him, laugh with him, the usual. It was beautiful. But he takes it a step further, he enjoys playing with them. The kids each got out their dolls and stuffed characters and they all sat around having a conversation together. The stuffed bears were surfers, the duck was the mom, and a precarious valley girl surfer was in on the mix as well. Someone decided that daddy should be pregnant with Elmo and a stuffed British Royal Guard teddy bear.

The children get such joy when Daddy is home, at times I feel slightly jealous that I don't get the same reaction, but I am also reminded that this special bond they have is one that they will hold so precious for their whole lives, and I am glad that he can give that to them.

My kids

One of the best advantages of being a homemaker is being there to educate my children at a young age. There are so much advantages to having the building blocks at an early age. After reading about Tot School from the blog 1+1+1=1 (the link is in the list of blogs I follow below) I was inspired to start doing something with Arydona in schooling.

Tot school is a way to teach early education skills to children before pre-k. It is simply a way of introducing colors, shapes, etc. I did a lot with Bella in kindergarten using Waldorf and Montessori methods, so I am trying to introduce some of the same style with Arydona.

Today was our first day and we were off to a great start! She knew so much more than I thought she did. We started with colored puff balls and sorted them according to color and according to size, she was even able to put them in a pattern.

The next thing we moved to was playing with texture using shaving cream. This was an activity I had done with my preschoolers when I taught preschool in college. That was HILLARIOUS!!!! I put an apron on her so her clothes wouldn't be too badly messed up. She had shaving cream all the way up her arms, her legs , the table, the floor, her feet, there were footprints all over the floor. It was so great to let her have fun. But the other side that is also great is that shaving my cream is also soap, so it cleaned floor and the kids table!!!!

connected to history

I love being a homemaker. There is something so remnicsent about it. I feel when I am making homemade bread or biscuits or feeding our backyard chickens or sewing curtains for the kids' room, that I am connected with the past. I imagine, as I create these memories with my children that I am recreating the past.

I have a cookbook with recipes for children from the 1930's. Everytime we cook from it I think about the decades of moms who have made the same recipes with their children. I think of the new generation of children who I am enriching by passing on the same traditions.

I guess tradition is the point. It is a tradition that it grounded in the past. It is solid and reassuring that for generations people have been instilling the same values and lessons that have been passed through the generations. With the rapidly changing world we live in, there is a comfort in the things that stay the same. Things that are constant.

Another reason I love homemaking is for a reason of economics. Making playdough takes 5 min if that and only costs a few cents. It uses things I have in my kitchen already and it is healthier for my children to play with than the stuff I buy in a store. And if your children are like mine, then they lose or dry it all out in a few weeks. Making bread from scratch is much cheaper than the bread that is in the store- up to $5 a loaf compared to $1. Not only do I save money but it is healthier for my children.

My belief system

I love my mom. She did the absolute best she could, but I blame the societal pressure of the 60's and 70's for my lack of a homemaking role model. During the sexual revolution, there were so many being told "you can do it", "Have a high powered career" , "break glass ceilings" and when you accomplish that " you can have a family too!" I was one of the lucky ones. My mom was a teacher so was home a quarter of the year. But when she worked she worked, and not just during the day.

I envied those whose parents had time to pack their lunches and take care of them day in and out, make home cooked meals every night, bake cookies, and all those other mom-type things. Now that the ceilings have been broken and women know that they can be anything that they want to, there has been a new movement for women, a movement toward home. More and more women, college educated women, are staying home. They realized you CAN have it all, but its hard to give 100% on all fronts. They are having at all, just at different times in their lives.

The beginning

I decided to start this blog about what it is like to be a modern homemaker. This career path- and yes it is a career path- is an undervalued one to say the least. Most people assume that I am wasting my college degree here and are shocked at the thought of me continuing any education. "Why would you?" they ask. Apparently, a mother doesn't have to be intelligent or well educated.

People assume that keeping a home is easy work. They figure you play with kids, watch television, do some laundry then throw together a simple meal with plenty of time to spare. They cannot comprehend why I would have any difficulty keeping my floors swept or dishes put away. I get ghastly glares when they see the smudges on the walls and crayon or marker depictions on the cabinets. I must be lazy!! Or just disorganized and filthy.

Most people do not realize the work that goes into a day of keeping a home and caring for three rambunctious children! I am going to be journaling my own discovery of what it really means to be a "Modern Homemaker". The job is so classic, vintage, hip! It is rooted in history and yet moving us into the future. There is something to be said for the old ways of keeping a home, but civilization has moved forward and now with cell phones, video games, online social networking, text messaging, and the list goes on, we are obviously not able to do the same things. Some things are good- new modern conveniences like microwaves and bread makers- that women 50 years ago would have given anything to have. I am trying to discover the balance between the two worlds. One foot in the past one in the present.